I was talking to a good friend of mine recently. We were discussing her trying to juggle being a mother of two small children, a full time career and still be the vixen she needs to be for her man. She was telling me that she could go months without sex and not even notice. Then she said something that resonated heavily with me…
“I don’t really feel like the sex is for me. Now that I think about it… it never really has been about me. I always did it because I thought that’s what was next”
For most of us we were raised to be “Good Girls.” And Good Girls do NOT talk to boys, like boys, kiss boys and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to have sex with a boy. I can literally remember the “sex talk” with my mother consisting of something along the lines of “Don’t be giving your flower away to these boys, that’s all they want. Billy gonna have sex with you, then Susie and Becky and your little feelings will be hurt) and that was it! Never any mention of it being something that could be mutually beneficial or something that was meant for me to enjoy at the proper maturity level.
So from the beginning for most girls sex=bad
Now you have the ‘First Time.” Most women’s first time having sex has nothing to do with their own raging hormones. Usually the girl’s heart is raging for some hormonal boy. He wants sex, she wants him to like her… so she complies. (NO NO NO I’m not saying girls are not willing participants in the losing of their virginity. I’m saying the motivation is different)
There is nothing magical about the first time… its awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes painful and usually NEVER sexy. The boy gets his first nut from sex and the girl gets to figure out what just happened.
Depending on the age a woman loses her virginity she then spends the next few years dealing with young boys who couldn’t care less about her sexual pleasure. So now our girl is leaving adolescence trying to find her way towards womanhood still not finding her sexual voice because no one ever told her that she had one. From the beginning of time she equated having sex with “that’s just what you do because boys/men like it”
We can agree that the basic simple purpose of sex is either procreation or orgasm right? Now, more than 75% of women report rarely or NEVER having orgasm during sex and 62% of women in America report actively taking Birth Control. So if the Women aren’t trying to have children… and also aren’t receiving orgasm from sex… it begs the question. Why are some women even still having sex?
30% of us are getting it right, so you have to ask
Ladies…. Have you discovered your sexuality?