It seems as though, most of our grief in life stems directly from our expectations. It’s impossible to be disappointed unless your expectations fail to be met.
Too often we expect people to react to situations the same way we would. I think this becomes the greatest fault line in most relationships. We expect our partner to love the way we do. Understand the way we do and forgive the way we do. Women being more emotionally centered than men tend to experience things this way oppose to men who experience things logically.
As a creature that experiences most of its life emotionally often times women unknowingly expect all interactions follow suit. We go above and beyond because we like/love our men and more times than not, this happens too early in the relationship. We take their lives on as part of our lives. We triple think our actions weighing them against how they may make our men feel. Always mindful of the conversation flow. Always factoring them and their feelings in. The problem with this behavior is most women expect these actions to be reciprocated by the men in their lives.
We expect that because we may think that talking everyday shows interest the men in our lives agree.
We think that because we give ourselves completely that our partners will instinctively give themselves to us.
We surmise that our emotional timeline matches with that of our love interest.
Problem is….. More often than not. This is not the case.
Where most women see color… Men see black & white.
Example: No communication between a Man and Woman a few days.
Woman: He’s clearly not that interested. Or he’s acting funny. I have to initiate everything. He has too many women he’s dealing with. Pow Wow meeting with the girls to discuss.
Man: Been a long week. Didn’t feel like talking. Still want you and I plan to see you soon.
Now the woman sitting for a week all emotionally disturbed and irritated with a man who has no idea. The man is about to be blindsided when he reaches out to the woman and she has an attitude… all because the expectations weren’t set at the right level.
I think the root of the communication problems between men and women weigh heavier on the side of non-verbal communication than the actual words we share. In our minds we are all already speaking separate languages. Our assumptions and expectations in a language only we understand. It’s like traveling abroad and expecting everyone to speak your native tongue.
So we have to ask ourselves…. Do we expect too much?