{"id":301,"date":"2014-12-11T13:19:12","date_gmt":"2014-12-11T15:19:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/?p=301"},"modified":"2019-03-12T02:02:58","modified_gmt":"2019-03-12T04:02:58","slug":"band-aids-free-write","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/?p=301","title":{"rendered":"Band-Aids (free write)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sunday September 7th<\/sup> 2014<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I awoke ready for an adventure. I have the beautifully daunting feeling that something amazing is going to happen today.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Me ex once told me that sometimes it seemed like I didn’t take care of myself and it was a turn off. Had he not been at the time using it for a weak defense for some bullshit he got caught up in \u2026. I might have listened. I really didn’t understand what he meant at the time. Or if he even meant it as deeply as I see it now. At the time I could only hear him saying that I should work out. I’m not fat\u2026 But I\u2019m not fit either. Anyway. Pride. Shame. Hurt. Wouldn’t let me see the truth.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So I’m in the shower today and for some reason that conversation is replaying in my mind. And it dawns on me. He was right. Sure I keep my appearance hygiene all of that up. But I don’t eat the way I should. I drink entirely too much. I don’t exercise \u2026 Like at all. I rarely sleep. And I enjoy an occasional recreational drug usage. I know it’s bad. But I love every painful beautiful moment of it all. I like not knowing where my personality is going to take me from moment to moment. It makes for interesting foggy memories.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I guess it’s impossible for a person it give you the love you want and you can’t even give it to yourself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Part of me would rather have a story worth telling than having a Happy Ending<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So where is the happy median?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At what age do we have to give up the happy places we create in our Minds When reality is just too much to deal with?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Because that’s all it really is\u2026. Sex, alcohol, drugs, partying \u2026. A clever illusion we create for ourselves in our search for belonging and happiness.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Band aids.<\/p>\n

<\/p> ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunday September 7th 2014   I awoke ready for an adventure. I have the beautifully daunting feeling that something amazing is going to happen today.   Me ex once told me that sometimes it seemed like I didn’t take care of myself and it was a turn off. Had he not been at the time […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":302,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,33],"tags":[6,4,8,7,5,3],"class_list":["post-301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs","category-relationships-2","tag-advice","tag-dating","tag-love","tag-men","tag-relationships","tag-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=301"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":356,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/301\/revisions\/356"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lifeinduality.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}