Do I believe in the power of Love? I find that I’m asking myself this often. I usually like to consider myself a hopeless Romantic. I believed that love could and would withstand anything. I felt that as long as you had love, nothing else mattered. I can remember saying “I’d live in a cardboard box with …..” As long as we have each other… we’re good. And for a while I truly felt that way. Now I realize how fucking stupid and unrealistic that sounds. Is it truly possible to love one person for the rest of your life? Do I have enough love left for that? When you go through a relationship that you really believe is going to last forever, and it ends. Something about that fucks you up mentally. The physical pain of having ones heartbroken is enough to send any sane person over the edge. There’s this moment when you can actually feel your heart cracking and your entire person is broken in half. NOBODY wants to feel that shit twice. It changes the way you view relationships, love, sex… everything. In a way you’re forever tainted. Like the heart never fully heals and is no longer capable of giving or receiving the amount of love it once facilitated. I have to ask myself, do I want to love that hard again? Do I want to be open like that with another person?
Yeah…. I do. Having someone that close to you is one of the greatest connections two people can share. The mutual vulnerability builds trust. And a bond that neither of your share with any other person on Earth. The problem is, it’s very rare that you find that person that you vibe with that deeply. That person you can spend all day with doing nothing. And every day still be excited to see. We develop so many superficial relationships. Only letting people see what we want them to see. That we rarely allow people to get close enough to of us to meet the real us. It takes a lot to get to a level with a person where you allow them to truly see all that you are. The quirky things you don’t let anybody else see. The fears nobody else knows about. All those secret fantasies you’ve been too scared to share. Allowing someone else into that space leaves us wide open for attack. But I think that’s what adds to the thrill of it all.
But hey what do I know? I’m just a girl recovering from her own heartbreak with a cracked Moral Compass…
Oh so Do I believe in the power of love? I’ll let you know when I decide.