#LifeInDuality : Dating| NOT for the monogamous

#LifeInDuality : Dating| NOT for the monogamous


Wikipedia: Dating is a part of the human mating process whereby two people meet socially for companionship, beyond the level of friendship, or with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by the couple. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.

DATING the Great Debate

According to Wikipedia (I know I know … not THEE most reliable source, however for the purposes of todays discussion… its SPOT ON) dating seems rather straight forward… two people meet for companionship and/or the aim of assessing the other person’s suitability as a life partner.

By definition it seems as though dating should be something that one experiences with multiple people… so why this generalized consensus that dating is a monogamous act? Is it just something we’ve adopted in the Black community? Is this another one of those societal double standards where men can do it but women can’t


I think Monogamy is like a safety blanket for people. As though everyone is in a rush to find the first person willing to tolerate them in an effort not to succumb to the devastating fate of singledom or being alone. Why are we so afraid of ourselves that we don’t want to be left alone with ourselves? What are we afraid we will find? How illogical is it to assume that you’ve met the perfect life mate without having exposed yourself to varied other options? What is life without the ability to contrast? So often in life we don’t even know we like like certain things until we are exposed to them. So if we aren’t making a conscious effort to experience as many different types of people as possible what do we have to compare? We demand variety in so many other areas of our lives, why not our love lives? It takes most people more time to choose a movie on Netflix than to decide they want monogamy with someone they like, why is that? We meet someone and say to ourselves, “whew glad that’s over with, lets just be together so I don’t have to look anymore” We are limiting our own happiness with our laziness or possessiveness. We imprison each other with our affection. I like you therefor you can no longer seek out what may make you happy. We jump from initial attraction, few social interactions BAAM monogamy. We don’t spend enough time in the dating phase, which is the learning the assessing the contrasting phase. Its like deciding to drink bourbon… you try Maker’s Mark and decide you can tolerate it. Now you never drink any other bourbon…. When all along Blanton’s, Basil Hayden and Woodford were all out there … being better for you.

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