So I woke up one morning with a sobering and humbling reality check:
Just because you’re a good woman doesn’t mean he has to love you.
I started to think about the idea of “Entitlement” and it seems that it is both a gift and a curse.
ENTITLEMENT: because I know my worth I know I am entitled to a good mate
ENTITLEMENT: I’m a good woman. I do wonderful things for you and therefor I am entitled to the reciprocation of my love for you
Our entire childhood most of us our taught the mantra “Teach other people the way you want to be treated.” The problem is no one bothered to add to the end “reciprocity not guaranteed”
Often times as women we do so much for the men we love. We go above and beyond because it is in our nature to nurture. Too often we find ourselves drastically disappointed because the intensity at which we love is not returned to us. Our minds have a tough time reconciling with how after giving so much of ourselves to someone how they cannot want to give themselves to us in return. You hear women all the time when discussing trials with men in their lives say things like “Well I did this for him, I was raising chickens in my backyard so he could have the freshest of fried chicken, Threw my back out for a week trying to the downward dog in the bedroom, I went to all his damn basketball games, I don’t talk during football…. Why he won’t love me?” And we begin to internalize that as “something I’m doing is not enough to make him love me”
When the truth may be simply…. Maybe you’re just not the one.
It’s hard to accept “my loving you does not automatically require you to love me back”. And at the same time you not wanting to love me back doesn’t depreciate the value of my love or that I deserve love