I feel like I’m searching for Love… but all I find is Lust.
That’s my fault though. I got some issues with trust.
It’s not that I don’t trust them… I really just don’t trust myself
Seems like every time I get close I just sabotage myself
Like the Good Dude I met from the Bay
He really tried to save me but I just kept getting in the way
He gave this Woman almost everything she could ask for
Respect, Trust, Security and so much more
A couple superficial things kept clouding my view
I just want you to know that when I’m all alone I still think of you
So I closed off my heart and Blocked out my mind
Decided to find someone to occupy my time
But when I met him, I was convinced we were meant to be
Turns out all he wanted was my body, but that was cool with me
I didn’t have the energy to give him my mind
So instead I gave him the pleasure of my slow grind
Fucking the shit outta some other Woman’s Man
But wait.. Yo they were separated Ya’ll understand
And once I really Fucked up and had too much to drink
Made a dumb ass decision, didn’t bother to think
Longing so bad for a little intimacy
My fault Houston the fault is on me
Too many nights filled with shot after shot
I kept telling myself to slow down.. But damn I forgot
And it’s not like the liquor erases my memory
It helps make my issues even more clear to me
The pain… I know that’s something real
Don’t have to second guess like this other shit I feel
“I don’t need love just take me shopping”
“Pay a few bills and we can get it popping’
And what’s funny is I don’t even need their money
But I wanna take from them like they be taking from me
But I’m smart enough not to confuse love with lust
I know I’m just new pussy and he just wanna bust
Ol dude flew my across the country just to taste my shit
He keep selling pipe dreams… but I know he aint shit
At the end of the day, it’s still all my fault
This is my virtue and I need to protect my vault
But I’m feeling like my conscious is fucking with me
One day its strict the next it runs free
As I pour out my soul and confess my sins
I’m still not rid of the deception within
I’m as we speak planning one trip more
To escape reality with a Man that’s spoken for…
