#LifeInDuality Writing Project: Secret Desires Guest Spot by @drinksonant

#LifeInDuality Writing Project: Secret Desires Guest Spot by @drinksonant

Déjà Vu deja vu blog pic for ant


Sometimes in life you meet people who aren’t all your expectations hoped they’d be. Other times people exceed your expectations and you find yourself torn out of your comfort zone trying to keep up. Sometimes a person is your peace on earth, others, a maelstrom of crazy heartache. Valentine’s Day is a day that pisses me off because all people do is pretend. I avoided it all, I thought I was happier that way. Until today.


I needed a drink after what seemed like a day in hell at work so I hit my boy Charles up.


“Aye man, wassup you tryna hit the bar and watch that fight? I need a drink!” 

Charles: “hold on man, babe extra sour cream don’t forget, it’s Dex ima be outside” 

Charles: “aye man, my bad. I’m wit the overlord. had to step out you know how she is”

“Yea man, it’s good. So what’s up you down for these drinks?”

Charles: “no can do bro, stace been trippin ever since February touched down. Chicks be losing they minds over Valentine’s Day man” 

“Hahaha tryna make sure you get some ass I see, all good man I’ll catch up wit you”.

Charles:” you already know, come thru tomorrow tho man you still ain’t fixed my sound in the back room!” 

“Bye bro”


*Phone buzzes*

Man moms text me, I guess I haven’t checked my phone much today dealing with them idiots.  


Mom: “look what I found! *photo attachment* I miss you like this Awww laughing out loud” 


“ma, thanks for the buzz kill! Burn that, NOW! You sure know how to be a mom smh and learn how to text it’s lol. You don’t have to spell it out”


Mom: “why?! you were happy I miss you like this. Son you aren’t getting and younger and today’s a great day to find a nice girl :). My baby boy is a catch. I text how I like boy”


“bye mom, going to watch the fight, I love you”


Mom never fails! Now I really need that drink. Where are my keys?!

I hope this is a good fight; I’m surprised there’s even a fight with all this love stuff going on. They must have known I’d need this drink and some entertainment. *8:42pm* lemme hurry over to the bar before this fight starts.

I don’t know why my mom would send me that picture knowing how badly that situation ended. As if she was laughing at me. Nah moms just being her but I’m happy right where I am, I got all I need.


*phone rings*

“Wassup Charlie Brown”

 Charles: “cmon man quit, but bro don’t go to that bar man, heard stace talkin to ol girl, you know the one from that Christmas party? She gone be there, you don’t want them problems.”

 “fuck, swear?!” 

 Charles: “yea dog, ima holla tho, peace” 

 “damn aight” 


I’ll just settle for that drink at level 2. No fight for me.


  “Hey bartender, lemme get the best whiskey you got, it’s been a long day” 


 Bartender: “fasho man, you staying for the event? Starts in bout an hour”


 “When did you guys start having events here?”


 Bartender: “this is the first one, we got a new owner and she’s tryna get people in here, opening up the top floor tonight” 


 “Oh that’s real, this might turn out to be a nice day after all” 


 Bartender: “yea man, this new owner is the shit man, and she’s fine boy, fine!!!” 


“Can’t wait.. Pour yourself a shot too man, on me” 


 *9:51pm* I guess I can go check out this lil party upstairs. Got a good buzz going so I figure I can go mingle and see what the selections lookin like.


“Aye Jon! Lemme get one of these to go! I’m ready to get to it!”


Jon: “you got it! Have fun up there, send some nice ones my way!” 

“I thought you were supposed to line em up for me?! Nah I got you! In a minute” 


“Mr. Childs! You ugly as shit boi! Whats good?!”

“Frank?! Fuck you, how’s it goin man, what are you doing here?


Frank: “shit, you know… checking out the new spot. The real question is what in the fuck are YOU doing here?!! Did you an-


Woman’s voice: “Hi Dexter, you’re the last man on earth I expected to see here. Thanks for coming!”


What the fuck is going on?!  Why is she here?!  This can NOT be happening!


“Uhh wassup Deja, thanks for coming where exactly? I didn’t know you were gonna be here”


Frank: “shit, uh I’ll be at the bar man, nice seeing you”

“Fra… hey”


Deja: “Yea, thanks for coming, this is my place now! Do you like it?”


“Wow, yea it’s nice I guess”


Deja: “well it so good you came Dex I have some stuff to take care of, stay put, I’ll be back for you.”


Frank: “you look like you need one of these *slides shot glass* Hennessy right?”


“I can’t stay dude, good seeing you”


Frank: “bro you can’t run out like one of these bitches, take the shot and lets find one badder than her hahahahahaha ok ok we can find one around the area of close, that’s the best we gone get in here.”


“The shot is fine, gimme yours too!”


Frank: “That’s right, turn up on em! Aye you still writing songs and shit, I may have a guy for you. His shit is dope”


“Yea, that’s what pays the bills man. Whoa! You bought a bottle bro?


Frank: “nah. Just these shots”


Bottle girl: “fellas it’s on the house, enjoy!”




Frank: “what’s up with you and Deja bruh, you’re not about to try that again are you?! How long has it been.. three years?


“nah man! And EXACTLY three years and shut up I fucking remember hahaha. I didn’t know she bought the place; I just needed a drink after work and ended up here. Had no clue she or you would be here”


Frank: “fuck it man, lets pop this bottle, Jay and Tasha on their way now”


“Oh no!”


Frank: “oh yes!.. cheers *taps shot glasses*”



As frank and the others started down the stairs to leave the only thing left for me to think about was deja and how I could avoid the awkward “how have you been?” Conversation. I looked up at that room above the dance floor wondering if she was staring down at me, I gathered myself, poured another shot and leaned back in my lonely ass booth.

Deja: “I see you stayed put, did you enjoy yourself tonight? I kept my eyes on you.”

I knew it, she was watching me. Now I’m sitting here looking up at this sun kissed goddess of heartbreak. Her smile was as hypnotic as it’s always been. Her dress made me jealous hugging her closer than I’ve held her in ages. Maybe it was the alcohol taking its advantages but I wanted to peel it all off her.

“I did enjoy myself actually, frank and them still know how to party, thanks.”


Deja: “mind if I sit?”

As she made her way down into her seat my eyes made their way to her lovely legs. As she sat, that Crimson dress crawled up her baby soft legs slightly revealing the tattoo on her right thigh. I poured myself another shot.


Deja: “I’ll take that! Pour another for you haha” 

“Fine, so what made you buy this place? Never thought you’d be interested in something like a lounge”

Deja: “take your shot I’ll show you, come with me.” 


We took our shots and then I followed her into a door near the Dj booth under one of those cages. There was a hallway lit in red lights we walked down to another door. A room painted black with a long red, bed like couch that immediately caught my eyes. We went upstairs where the lookout to the lounge was.


Deja: “have a seat in that chair there Dex”

She sat me in this chair and she leaned over and kissed me.

Deja: “I’m sorry Dex”

Suddenly my hands are strapped to this chair

“What the fuck deja!?”

Deja: “relax, just relax. You wanted to know why I bought this place” 

“You don’t-“

Deja: “shhhut up!”


She reached and unfastened my belt and pants and before I knew it she had me. Helpless and blissfully confused I could just stare at her blessing me. I still felt her lips on mine and listening to her moan you would have swore she was enjoying this more than I was. She dug her nails into my legs but the embrace of her lips only made the pain feel good.


“Oh my god” 

Deja: “mmm that’s good, I’ll be right back” 

“Stop playing”

Deja: “hush”


She disappeared behind me and left me strapped in like a hostage. This was torture. My heart was beating a mile a minute wondering what the hell she had planned next, what was she going to do to me?




Suddenly the lights in this room dimmed and a very familiar song began to play. It was a song I wrote for her years ago. She came behind me and whispered in my ear.


Deja: “I found this when I moved back here and it made me realize how much you loved me. I hurt you I know, I am going to repay you tonight”


“This isn’t fair deja, let me out”

She turned my chair around and what I saw left me in awe. Red lace lingerie, red thigh high stockings and red heels. She backed away slowly so I could see all of her and I forgot where I was. I had to be dreaming. I was standing up sitting down and she giggled. There was a pole there and she spun around on it to tease me.


Deja: “hmm, almost forgot about that”


She grabbed something off the counter and approached me with her hands behind her back and kneeled in front of me. It was honey in her hand and she started pouring it on me. I grimaced because the warmth surprised me. She went back at it, licking the honey from everywhere. I was dreaming. My eyes closed and I was loving this honey thing.



Warmth turned to freezing! Honey turned to ice and the shock sent a chill through my soul. I tried to move my hands to grab her head but I forgot I was a prisoner to this torturer.  She poured more honey and then used more ice and I couldn’t take it. I lost control of everything and in an euphoric release I came and she never released me. A helpless man in a chair was what I was reduced to. Once again she kissed my lips and whispered.


Deja: “I’m going to untie you but stay put until I say what I have to say” 


I nodded in compliance and as I was released from her bondage she backed away never losing her eyes with mine. She leaned against the pole and said


Deja: “I want you to punish me for what I did to you, I deserve it, I need it. Everything you can use is in the closet over there. She looked to her left where a closet with an unlocked lock stood. 


She raised both arms above her head and handcuffed herself to the pole. I stood up in astonishment. What have I been dragged into? What do I do? I walked towards the closet and opened it. Paddles, vibrators, ropes, and some shit I couldn’t identify all perfectly organized before me and she wanted me to “punish” her with this stuff? This wasn’t the Deja I knew, she would never do anything like what’s she’s saying right now. I looked over at her and she was looking straight ahead as if she knew I’d look back with confusion. Her mind was made up. I had a choice to make.


“You are serious! You really want me to do this” 


Deja: “yes.” 


“What happened to you?!” 


Deja: “. . . . .” 


Fuck I had to do something. I grabbed the first thing I saw that didn’t look too harmful, a little leather thing that had a bunch of leather straps.


“What’s this?”


Deja: “it’s called a flogger, hit me with it” 


I thought I’d get a chance to warm up to this but I guessed wrong. I walked over like I was about to get punished, I looked her up and down and I circled around her. She looked as though she was being turned on by my hesitation. Her legs clinched together and she nibbled at her bottom lip, she leaned her head upward and she breathed in anticipation for my first strike. I swung it just hard enough to make it sound painful but not too hard. She moaned nearly inaudible moan and looked me in my eye with a burning glare.


Deja: “not good enough dexter, do it harder”


She turned and face the pole and arched her back. Fuck she looked good like that. I walked up behind her and bit her on her shoulder and caressed in between her thighs. She grinded against me and inhaled deeply.


Deja: “hit me again” 


So I swung it again, this time with some heat, right on her beautiful ass. *smack!* her body shuddered and her legs trembled. She hissed and for a second I coulda swore she growled at me. It turned me on, I caressed the spot I punished and *smack!* punished the other side. She screeched and once again her legs nearly gave out. Again and again and again I laced her body with her toy and she enjoyed every bit of it. I got the ice. I traced her body with it, I cupped her breasts and kissed her neck. She pulled at the cuffs.


“You want to touch me don’t you?” 


Deja: “yes-no, not yet, more” 


She was boiling and I was beginning to feel that same fire. I went back to the closet and chose my next weapon. I grabbed a choke chain, a blindfold and one of her vibrators, I had an idea. I fitted her with the new items and she grinned.


Deja: “are you enjoying this? I know I am”


I tugged on the choker.




She grunted and smiled. I grabbed her vibrator and placed it right on her lips and she met it with her tongue inviting it into her mouth. Pulling on the strings of her panties she stepped out of them one leg at a time. I turned her vibrator on and rubbed it against her clit. The chains of the cuffs chimed as she shook with the vibrations coursing through her. After some time she began to stand on her toes and yes, she growled that sexy ass growl again. *smack!* I slapped her ass and tugged at the choker. Her face was flush with color, her body writhing in pleasure you could tell she was close.


“What kind of punishment would this be if I let you do that?” 


She whined and turned to face me and pulled at the cuffs, she was ready to be freed.


“Where’s the key?”


Deja: “come and kiss me” 


I approached her and she wrapped her legs around my waist, her hands still hanging from the ceiling, her lips locked with mine. Suddenly I felt her soft hands on my face. She must have been holding the key.


Deja: “take me to the bed, I’m ready”


I carried her over to those red beds and sat down. She was still on top of me she lifted my shirt off and pushed me back on the bed. She ran her nails down my chest and back down to my waist where she removed the rest of my clothing. Back where we started her beautiful lips wrapped around me. I held her hair while she performed, I wanted her on top of me and I think she read my mind. She came up for air and wrapped me up before she crawled up and descended on me. The way she bit her lip and moaned as I entered let me know she’d been anxiously waiting for it.

I could just lay back and enjoy how good she felt, how amazing she looked grinding on top of me. The way she threw her hair back and cupped her breast, her grind shifted gears and she threw her nails into me once again. I gripped her hips as her intensity grew, she was going for the gusto.


Deja “YES, keep it there! I’m cumming”


She yelled out as she lost control of her rhythm and her sea raged within her. Her pace slowed and she leaned in and whispered..


Deja: “bend me over” 


She grabbed the biggest pillow on the bed and positioned herself on it. My god was it a beautiful sight. It made my mouth water, I wanted to taste her. I kissed her up her thigh until I reached her treasure and kisses it with the same passion she had given me. She squeezed on the pillow and gasped, she tasted like poetry and as I sang my song to her her thighs began to shake, she squeezed tighter and cried out.


Deja: “DONT STOP” 


Her voice bellowed through the room in blissful agony as she climaxed again. I gave her one more kiss that made her body jerk before I mounted her. *smack* I slapped her ass as I slide myself inside of her. She threw her head back and began to meet my grind with hers. I could feel her clinching tighter with every slow stroke I have her. She felt too damn good, I reached forward and grabbed her by the throat.


“Damn you feel so fucking good!”


Deja: “take it baby” 


I grabbed her hair with my other hand and pulled hard. She yelped


Deja: “Fuck! Yes!” 


I went harder, she tried to scream but no sound followed. She pulled back and put her face in the pillow basically daring me to give her my best shot. I slapped a grip of two handfuls of her ass and accepted her challenge, I went all in. Listening to her muffled screams and watching her push back to meet every shot I threw at her let me know she was trying to finish me before I finished her. I went harder, she reached back and I grabbed her wrist and pinned it behind her, the other followed. She was helpless and I was getting close, I could feel it.




It was all I could let out as I tipped over the edge. I collapsed onto her as euphoria gripped me, biting her on her shoulder she giggle and we rolled over on the bed.


Deja: “We can call that a tie”


“That was crazy but oddly, I had the time of my life”


Deja: “Me too, but I still don’t think that makes up for me walking out on you”


“I really don’t know how to respond to that, I proposed and you took off like a run away. I didn’t hear from you a month. How can you make up for something like that?”


Deja: “I don’t know, but I do want to give you something else, hold on.”


She went into the other room again and came back with something in her hand.


Deja: “I should have given this back to you but you said to keep it. So I did. ”


It was the ring I had proposed to her with, I thought she would have sold that thing or something. Actually, I didn’t expect to see her again.


“What do you want me to do with this?”


Deja: “nothing, I want you to punish me more.”

She started kissing my chest and traced them downward. She wasn’t finished yet?


“And then what?”


Deja: “Whenever you’re all out of frustration, whenever that may be, ask me again. Mmmmm”




3 thoughts on “#LifeInDuality Writing Project: Secret Desires Guest Spot by @drinksonant

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